Amy was glad to finally change into some dry clothes. She had been drenched for about six hours since leaving the SS Yokohama Maru. She enjoyed a wonderful meal with the other missionaries before she headed to bed. Before going to sleep, she propped herself up in bed and wrote a few lines in her journal about her first day in Japan. She ended it with, “Of all funny experiences, this morning’s was the funniest.”
The next day, though, Amy learned something that both surprised and upset her. The weather was gray, but not raining, and Amy was glad to be able to get out of the house. She and one of the missionary women she was staying with went for a walk along the beach. They talked about what Amy could expect on the mission field. Amy remarked that no matter what happened among the unconverted, it would be wonderful to always be able to count on the support of other missionaries. The woman stopped and turned to Amy. With a look of total shock on her face she said, “You don’t mean to say you think all missionaries love one another?” Then she laughed a wait-until-you-find-out kind of laugh.
Amy was dumbfounded. Of course, she believed other missionaries loved one another. It was Jesus Himself who told Christians to love one another. So what did this woman mean? Did she really mean Christian missionaries were no closer to following God’s commands than non-Christians? That could not be. Amy wouldn’t believe it. That night she prayed for a long time before going to sleep. “Lord, help me to always love other people as You love us. Show me how to love even Christians who do not love me back,” she prayed. She would get plenty of practice at doing that in the next fifteen months!
Chapter 7
Enough of English Clothing
It was May 1, 1893, when Amy arrived at the ancient town of Matsuye, her final destination in Japan. She was welcomed by Barclay Buxton and the other missionaries who made up the Japanese Evangelistic Band. Amy was glad to meet them all. She was also thankful for her room at the Buxton house that looked out on snowcapped mountains. The three small Buxton boys were soon trailing around after her.
For her first three months in Matsuye, Amy lived in two worlds. One was the English world within the Buxtons’ home. Barclay Buxton was a man with social standing and family money. So rather than leave his three sons in England, as many missionaries of the time did, he brought them and their governess to Japan. As a result, the family kept a schedule very similar to that of any other upper-class Victorian family. Breakfast was at seven-thirty, followed by morning prayers. Then it was school with the governess for the boys and language study for Amy. This was followed by morning tea and more study before a huge hot lunch was served. Much of the food served at the Buxtons’ was imported from England, so the meals Amy ate in Matsuye were almost identical to those served at Broughton Grange, complete with condensed milk, canned meat, and English tea.
The missionaries in the Japanese Evangelistic Band continued to wear English clothing, except on Sundays, when they made some exceptions. Because Japanese people always took off their shoes and hats before going indoors, the Evangelistic Band did the same when they went to church. For many of the Victorian woman in their ranks, being seen in public in bare feet was very embarrassing; the women felt half-naked. Nonetheless, they didn’t want to offend the Japanese Christians and so persevered, regardless of how they felt.
Outside the Buxton home and the Japanese Evangelistic Band, though, everything was completely foreign. Amy could walk all day and never hear a word of English spoken or see English words written. And the food she ate while out visiting was very different. She never ceased to be amazed at the things that went into Japanese soup, like seaweed, lily roots, and sea slugs, to name a few.
It didn’t take long before Amy became frustrated at not being able to communicate more easily outside the Buxton home. Amy worked hard at her language study, but it was slow, tedious work. In typical style, Amy didn’t want to wait until she had learned the language before starting to tell people about the gospel message. She needed a means to start talking to the Japanese people right away. She spoke to Barclay Buxton about the situation every morning at breakfast until he finally arranged for her to have her own personal interpreter and Japanese teacher. Her name was Misaki San. Misaki San was a Christian and a good interpreter, who explained many things to Amy about Japanese life and culture and Buddhist beliefs.
As the two women spent time together, Amy studied Misaki San’s dress, a kimono—a beautiful floor-length dress. The kimono was tied at the waist with a huge sash, which Misaki San called an obi. On her feet Misaki San wore socks and wooden shoes that were kept about an inch from the ground by two crosspieces on the bottom. Misaki San wore her hair in a bun, but she did not wear a hat.
Amy compared Misaki San’s dress to her own. She wore layers of fabric, three white petticoats, a bonnet tied too tightly under her chin, stockings, and laced-up shoes. Amy came to the conclusion that the kimono Misaki San was wearing would be much more comfortable, cheaper to replace, and easier to get around in without causing a scene. Amy began to think she ought to start wearing a kimono.
She was still thinking about it one bitterly cold day when she and Misaki San visited an old woman. Amy was wearing her thick woolen coat and fur gloves. The old Japanese woman tried hard to concentrate on the gospel message Amy and Misaki San were sharing with her, but Amy could tell she was having a hard time keeping her mind on what they were saying. Suddenly, the old woman reached out and touched Amy’s hands. She motioned for Amy to take off her gloves, which she did. For the next few minutes the old woman studied the gloves, turning them over and over in her hands before trying them on. Amy and Misaki San never managed to get the old woman’s attention back on the gospel message they were sharing.
Afterward, Amy strode back to the Buxton house with a determined look on her face. She’d had enough of English clothing! She was in Japan, halfway around the world from England, and she should be wearing Japanese clothes. Amy chided herself as she walked. If she’d been wearing a kimono, the old woman would still be listening to the gospel message. If her English clothes distracted even one Japanese person from hearing the gospel message, then she didn’t want to wear them.
Thankfully, Barclay Buxton could see Amy’s point, and Amy became the first member of the Japanese Evangelistic Band to wear native dress. She chose a blue kimono with light green trim. Blue was Amy’s favorite color. Amy had the words “God is Love” embroidered in Japanese down the kimono’s outside facings. The kimono was very comfortable, and when Amy pulled her dark brown hair back in the same style the Japanese women wore, at a distance it was hard to tell her apart from the other women. The only problem was the shoes. No matter how hard she tried, Amy couldn’t get used to teetering on the wooden platform shoes. She could not seem to keep her balance. She decided to wear plain black slippers, which blended easily with her native dress and were easy to slip off and on when entering and leaving a house.
Amy quickly discovered that Japanese people in the streets took almost no notice of her when she was wearing a kimono. What a relief it was to be able to go out and not be stared at by everyone. One afternoon, Amy went out for a walk by herself. She had learned enough Japanese to be able to carry on short conversations. Normally, though, Amy preferred to talk to children because she felt less embarrassed if she made a mistake in front of them. After walking for a while, she stopped in front of a house to talk to a small girl about five years old. Amy asked her if she knew about God and that He loved her. The little girl nodded excitedly. “Yes,” she replied. “I’m going to the magic lantern picture show tonight. That is where the foreigners will show their God.”
The little girl smiled as she skipped off down the street. Amy gazed after her, trying to grasp what she’d just heard. Buddhism is a religion of many gods and many statues of gods. Buddhists often believe the statue itself is a god and not just an image of a god. Amy wondered whether the small girl thought the pictures of Jesus many missionaries used were actually God. Was God just a picture to the girl? Amy walked home slowly, troubled by what the little girl had said. How could she make Japanese people understand that a picture of Jesus was not a god and contained no magical powers. It was just a picture and could not talk to them or love them. Amy liked pictures of Jesus; she had several hanging in her room. But she wasn’t a Buddhist. She knew the pictures were merely representations of what Jesus may have looked like. She didn’t worship the pictures as God. But how were Japanese people raised in Buddhism to know they were just pictures and had no power?
By the time Amy reached the Buxton house, she’d made another decision. She would no longer use pictures of Jesus. Even though pictures of Jesus often helped missionaries explain the gospel message, especially when they did not know the language very well, Amy decided it was not worth using them and risking a misunderstanding about who God really was.
She didn’t make a big fuss about her decision not to use pictures to help communicate the gospel, but the other missionaries soon noticed she no longer took her picture kit with her. When they asked why, Amy told them as plainly as she could, and many of them understood what she was saying. Within weeks of Amy’s meeting the little girl, many of the missionaries in the Japanese Evangelistic Band had put away their picture kits and were describing their Bible stories to the people instead. That way, Buddhist listeners would not get confused and think the missionaries were “showing them their God.”
By August, Amy had been in Japan for three months, and she was more than ready to join the other missionaries for a conference in a town called Arima. She had a wonderful time at the conference, which reminded her of the Keswick meetings back in the British Isles. It was also a great opportunity to meet many other missionaries working in Japan. But in the midst of all the people and activity, Amy felt lonely. She had made many friends since arriving in Japan, but as she watched Barclay Buxton and his wife together, she longed for a close relationship like they had. She began wondering whether she ought to marry. Having a husband and perhaps even children on the mission field would make life a lot less lonely.
The more she thought about it, the more Amy began to fear growing old and being alone. Some of her brothers and sisters had married, so why shouldn’t she? But she could find no peace inside about the whole issue, so she went to a cave near Arima to pray about it. After several hours in the cave praying about how lonely she felt and asking God whether she should marry, she felt a great peace come over her. In her heart she heard a voice speak and say, “None of those who trust Me shall be lonely.”
Amy thanked God for His assurance and climbed out of the cave. She had her answer. She knew she would never marry or have children of her own. But God had promised her she would never be alone, either. If at that moment Amy could have seen the enormous number of children who would call her Mother or the number of missionaries who would love her and were loved back by her in later years, she would have laughed out loud. The one thing Amy Carmichael would never be accused of was being lonely!
Another three months passed, until in November Amy felt she should make a missionary journey. She talked it over with Barclay Buxton, and it was decided she and Misaki San should visit the village of Hirose. Hirose was one of the bigger villages in the area, but it was almost completely Buddhist. There were only nine known Christians living there. Before setting out for the village, Amy and Misaki San spent a day praying about their trip. By the end of the day, Amy felt that God had promised one convert as a result of their trip.
