“I have been wondering that too, Andy!” Thile confided. “I just didn’t know how to bring up the subject.”
“What do you mean?” Andrew asked, thinking that if Thile thought like the members of his family, he must look more weird than he had ever imagined.
“Well,” she continued awkwardly, “I know you have to have something to hold onto now that you are back from the army, but do you have to be so…so fanatical about it? You don’t want to burn yourself out. Why don’t you read other books sometimes or go to the movies with me?”
Despite Thile’s suggestion, Andrew found that he could not be bothered doing other things. He loved to read the Bible, pray, and go to church. Nothing else was remotely interesting to him. Then one night, soon after New Year 1950, Andrew had an experience that convinced him he was on track.
It was a cold, blustery night. The wind howled around the van der Bijl house, and sleet blew horizontally across the polder. Andrew lay in bed with the blankets pulled up tightly beneath his chin to keep warm. As he stared at the darkened ceiling, the story that Sister Patrice had told him before he left Indonesia—and especially her words about how a monkey won’t let go of something—flooded his memory. He also thought about the words of the song from the revival meeting in Doorn: “Let my people go.” What am I holding onto? Andrew asked himself. Then the answer suddenly came to him—he had to let go of himself. He had to place his life fully and completely in God’s hands. Quietly, in barely more than a whisper, Andrew opened his mouth and prayed. “Lord, if You will show me the way, I will follow You. Amen.”
This simple prayer led to instant changes in Andrew’s life. For the first time in years, Andrew felt clean inside, as if his mind had been scrubbed out. He could not wait to tell someone about his experience, and the only people he was sure would understand what had happened to him were the Whetstras and Kees. Andrew went and told Mr. and Mrs. Whetstra about his experience, and they were both delighted for him. Kees also was delighted with the news, and he asked Andrew to become his prayer and Bible study partner.
In the spring of 1950, just as the tulips were beginning to break through the soggy ground, Andrew and Kees decided to go to Amsterdam together to hear a well-known Dutch evangelist named Arne Donker. Andrew was surprised at how much he enjoyed Pastor Donker’s message, especially since he was feeling a little out of place among such an exuberant crowd. He began to feel truly uncomfortable, however, when Pastor Donker announced, “I have the feeling something unique is taking place here tonight. Someone in this audience is going to give himself as a missionary.”
Andrew sneaked a look at Kees, and both men rolled their eyes at the same time. Andrew knew that they were both thinking the same thing: Let’s get out of here before this turns weird. Without saying a word, they stood up and sidestepped their way to the end of the row. But so many people turned to look at them expectantly as they did so that they both sat down in the empty seats at the end of the row.
“Better wait until this is over,” Kees whispered to Andrew.
No one else in the auditorium had moved, but Arne Donker did not back down. “There is a life of constant danger and risk waiting to be claimed tonight—by a young man, I think.”
Andrew looked straight ahead. Then, without thinking about what he was doing, he got back to his feet. Kees also stood up, and like two lemmings returning to the sea, Andrew and Kees marched single file toward the front of the auditorium.
Andrew heard Pastor Donker say, “There you are, not one but two of you! Wonderful. Come all the way to the front.”
The aisle seemed to stretch on forever, but Andrew and Kees did not stop until they had reached the front of the auditorium.
“Kneel down, boys. I want to pray for you,” Pastor Donker said.
Andrew and Kees knelt obediently, and Pastor Donker began to pray. Though Andrew did not take in any of what the pastor was praying, he did hear the instructions the pastor gave after finishing praying. “Make sure I talk to you two before you leave tonight.”
The whole incident seemed surreal to Andrew as he sat in the front row while the congregation sang the closing hymn. When the meeting was over and everyone got up to leave, Andrew wanted to get up too and melt into the crowd. He felt compelled, however, to stay put and wait for the pastor to disentangle himself from the group of people who had gathered around him and were peppering him with questions.
Finally, when the hall was nearly empty, Pastor Donker strode over to the front-row pew. “So what are your names?” he asked.
“Andrew and Kees,” Andrew quickly replied, hoping to avoid using last names or mentioning any other details, such as where they came from.
“Great. Andrew and Kees. Fine names. Are you two ready for your first assignment?”
Andrew felt sick in the pit of his stomach. He did not know why he had walked up to the front, but he was one hundred percent sure that it had not been to sign on as Pastor Donker’s puppet!
“Where are you from?” the pastor asked.
“Sint Pancras,” Andrew muttered.
“Both of you?”
Kees nodded.
“Good, good. It is biblical to work in pairs. The New Testament model is for missionaries to begin in their own towns, their own backyards, and preach the gospel and then move out from there.”
Andrew smiled weakly, afraid of what he was going to hear next.
“So here’s what you are going to do. Both of you are to prepare a short testimony, and I will come to Sint Pancras next Saturday. At one o’clock we will hold an open-air meeting outside the mayor’s house. I’ll be there to support you and offer a few closing thoughts.”
Andrew felt the blood draining from his face. If his family thought he was turning into a religious fanatic before, what would they think when he started preaching in the street—and not just any street, but the main street in Sint Pancras!
More than anything else, Andrew wanted to say no. No, he would not make a fool of himself. No, he would not prepare a testimony. No, he had not even intended to come down to the front. But try as he might, the word would not come out of his mouth. Instead Andrew found himself nodding approvingly and giving Arne Donker his address.
Andrew and Kees walked out of the auditorium in stunned silence. Andrew wished that Kees had spoken up, and he was sure that Kees wished the same thing of him. But neither of them had spoken up, and now they were stuck. There is one thing for sure, Andrew told himself as they made their way home. I am going to keep this as quiet as possible. I’m not going to invite a single person to attend the meeting, and if we’re lucky, maybe no one will notice us.
Chapter 9
Headed for an Unknown Adventure
As one o’clock on Saturday approached, Andrew made his way to the square in front of the mayor’s house. Fear gripped him when he saw the crowd.
“We heard that you and Kees were going to speak. We have never had anyone in the village do anything like this before,” a neighbor told Andrew as he pushed through the crowd.
Arne Donker had set up a small platform, and he and Kees were standing at the back of it. Pastor Donker shook Andrew’s hand and then, after saying a prayer, climbed up onto the platform, where he welcomed the crowd and introduced Kees and Andrew. He then invited Kees to step forward and speak. Andrew listened from behind the platform, but he could not concentrate on a word Kees said. Beads of cold sweat formed on his brow. In all the dangerous battles he had been through in Indonesia, he had never felt this scared. His knees were even knocking.
Finally Kees finished speaking, and Pastor Donker invited Andrew to come forward and speak. The dreaded moment had arrived, and Andrew limped forward to the edge of the platform. He looked out on the crowd, and stern faces stared back at him. Andrew’s mouth suddenly went dry, and his tongue felt furry as he began to speak. Andrew started to recite the testimony he had written out and memorized during the week, but the words seemed flat and dead to him, as if they were not reaching the ears of those in the crowd. He decided to abandon the prepared testimony and just speak from his heart.
“I did some terrible things when I was in the East Indies,” he began, “things that I am not proud of. When I arrived home, I was lost. I felt dirty inside and guilty over the things I had done. It was as if chains were bound around me.”
As Andrew spoke from his heart, he felt the fear drain away. And he noticed that the stern looks on the faces staring up at him began to dissolve. Some people even smiled, at him and others nodded their heads in agreement.
“I searched for freedom, for something to change the way I felt on the inside. And then one stormy night in January I found the freedom I was looking for. I found it when I laid my burden of guilt and shame at the feet of Jesus and surrendered myself to Him.”
Following the open-air meeting, a few people in the village gave Andrew strange looks, but he did not care. He realized that they had probably expected him to do something “foolish” like that, anyway. But much to his surprise, when he looked back on the experience, Andrew had to admit to himself that he had enjoyed sharing his faith with others, so much so that he began to look for a way to become a missionary.
Once Thile understood that Andrew was serious about becoming a missionary, she pitched in and helped him to write letters inquiring about how to become a missionary with the Dutch Reformed Church. The replies he received to his letters all pointed in the same direction. Andrew needed to go to seminary and become an ordained minister. Once he was an ordained minister, he should work in a church for a few years and then seek a missionary position. But because Andrew had not attended high school, becoming an ordained minister would involve twelve years of study.
This was all too much for Andrew. He counted up the years. It would be 1962, and he would be at least thirty-four years old before he became an ordained minister. There was no way he could wait that long to follow his calling. Yet when Andrew explained this to people, they asked him where and what he was called to do. But he could not answer their questions. Although he felt a general call to follow God and do something, he was not sure what that was or where it would be. The idea of becoming a missionary seemed to come to a halt, and Andrew decided to get a job while he prayed some more about the whole issue.
The chocolate factory in Alkmaar, where Geltje’s husband, Arie, worked, was hiring workers, and Andrew applied for a job there. He was hired as a delivery boy, pushing carts filled with chocolates from the assembly room to the shipping platform. The chocolate factory turned out to be a mission field of its own, and soon Andrew was helping to organize prayer meetings among the workers and taking many of his workmates with him to the weekend evangelistic rallies. To keep his missionary vision alive, he also bought theology books and studied them and began taking English lessons with Miss Meekle, a schoolteacher in the village.
On the weekends Andrew also visited Thile, who encouraged him, praising him for all the good changes that he was helping to bring at the factory. But though he had played a part in changing the atmosphere at the chocolate factory and had seen the conversion of several hardened young women there, Andrew knew that something was not right. Yes, the chocolate factory was a mission field, but it was not his mission field. Somewhere out there was a place where he belonged, and after two years of working at the factory, he became desperate to find that place.
The idea of becoming a missionary with the Dutch Reformed Church seemed more elusive than ever, and Andrew decided to see whether other mission agencies might accept him as a missionary. He could not think of why he had not done this before, except for the fact that Thile had been opposed to his going outside their Reformed Church circle.
As it turned out, Andrew was invited to hear a missionary from the Worldwide Evangelization Crusade (WEC) speak. He went expecting to hear about missionary opportunities around the world, and he was not disappointed. However, the speaker, an Englishman named Mr. Johnson, also explained that WEC missionaries lived by faith. By this Mr. Johnson meant that missionaries with the organization did not receive an income from any church or other organization but rather prayed and asked God to supply their needs.
